yes oh yes it's that's time again

Years ago I wished I was one of those mothers who cried when her children went back to school. You know the ones -- sniffling at the bus stop, hugging and smooching in the hallway, their children perfectly dressed and groomed (if you are one of those moms, bless your heart, really). But, I wondered to myself: WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? WHY AM I FEELING SO RELIEVED AT THIS MOMENT?

I'm old now (43) and smarter. Maybe I'm just more comfortable with my selfishness.

Kids exhaust me. As much as I love my two daughters, they exhaust me. Did I mention they exhaust me??? I think my problem is that I'm so "intuned" to them (Is that even a word? I don't think so cuz the spell check underlined it). Some might say I'm neurotic. I like to think of myself as INTENSE. I need to always know what's up. Every stinkin detail, no matter how insignificant or boring (I'm one of those annoying moms who sends text messages to my teenage daughter on a very regular basis. This is where an unlimited texting plan comes in handy).

This little trait I have causes me to be aware of any ever-so-slight change in my kids' mood or general demeanor. I THINK SHE'S HUNGRY... IS THAT SHIRT TAG BOTHERING HER? SHE NEEDS A FRIEND OVER!!! It annoys me, this gift I have (I use the word "gift" very loosely). I try to change it, act all casual and cool, but it creeps back before I realize it! I'm wondering if others have this problem. I really don't know. But I've often wondered.

So, when summer is done, and I send them off to school, it means that for 6+ hours my "kid gauge" can get some rest and fuel up for the wild and crazy AFTER SCHOOL time, in which my tank must be full. I need my tank fully loaded for THAT.